Monday, February 27, 2006
Today activities weren't much excited...in fact my life is also not exciting... well , wake up quite early this morning... went for a haircut.. and start working for jobs again.. but it fails again.. haha.. i am getting more and more used to it le.. haha.. i have been getting much better these few days liao.. e
Went to bai my dead grandpa at manda in the afternoon, u know what... that place is not as scary as what i have thought in the past.. especially when you are visiting someone who is close to you.. and for me , that is my grandpa.. yup.. never heard about him right ? well , to me , he is the best grandpa in this world , no one can replace him.. yup.. he looked after me since i was young and always give me a chance to correct myself whenever i did something wrong.. he knew that i will change.. and of course , i didn't disappoint him ba.. i remember the day he passed away... is on the 4 of march 2004 , a thursday in the morning.. i was in the school that time and i couldn't see him even for the last time.. cos i was in the school and never brought my HP to school.. my parents can't contact me.. and by the time contacted me .. it was too late.. the nail had been hit down to the cover the coffin.. That was the worst moment i had ever feel... tears started dropping from my eyes.. i blamed myself for being so careless.. even forget to bring a HP to school.. haiz.. till today , i still regret what i have did.. sorry grandpa , i didn't mean it ... i hope you would forgive me.. haiz,, thanks for your constant guidance which makes what i am today.. i will always remember you... My dearest grandpa... hope that in the next life , we will still be grandpa and grandson again.. Although you have left for almost two year already , i still remember the days you brought me to school when i was in kindgarten and the days you brought me out to other places like swimming.. we toured around the whole Singapore... I miss the days.. yar.., all i want to say is " thank you grandpa , i miss you so "... ...
After that , my relatives and I went to eat dinner and we went home... ... It is a day which brings me back to the memories of my dead grandpa...
i love you ;
1:40 AM
Saturday, February 25, 2006
The whole mid-night , i was troubled and depressed... i sat infront of my computer wondering what really happened to me... i think through for hours.. i dunno what to do... i just know that i need some support from ppl after some sort of failure.. hiaz.. I told myself to be strong... in chinese , we say ' failure is the mother of success ' ... well , I do believe .. that is why i not going to give up.. i will keep on trying till my last breath.. sorry about yesterday night , i sound really down .. and depressed.. i don't mean to spoil your mood.. sorry.. i just need someone to console when i am down.. but i will be ok afterwards.. don't worry.. i know you are angry and you sound frustrated... but what i have to say is SORRY..
BAck to the topic , it is only when 4am when i fell asleep, yawn.. but my mind can't rest peacefully.. I was worried about my job and you.. Did u know that ? I wish i could be by your side and protect you..
I woke up at about 12pm.. and i started calling the part time job .. haiz.. but its fails again.. haiz.. sms to two company then never got any reply.. call two company , one is they only want female tutors.. omg, then what are we guys going to do.. haiz.. another company is much better but the place is a bit too far , it is at woodlands... and so i rejected it... haiz.. although , it is quite sad lor but nvm , i am not going to give up..
The rest of the day , I called my friends out to find job and play soccer.. but neither of them can make it .. haiz.. they are not working also.. but i don't understand why they are not feeling bored .. some told me " play games at home lor". Aiyo , play games , omg , i think there is better things to do other than playing games. won't they get bored playing the same games again and agian.. haiz.. anyway , that's not my problem..
So the whole afternoon was bored for me lor,,, haiz,,, suddenly i think of MJC , haiz,, did i make the right choice to withdraw ??? if i didn't withdraw , i might not end up so sian right , but if i don't withdraw , i will be stressed up.. haiz.. it seems like both ways are not a good choice.. of course i miss my MJ friends ... haha,,, think of them, i really miss the fun we have in MJ... rememeber the wet wet wild we play and those games in sentonsa , wow,,, it is indeed a wonderful memory.. yar.. i love my CG ... 06S209 .. u r the best... we have fun during lessons and outings too...i will never forget my last day day in MJC as a student , it was the day O level result was released.. when school dismiss , 06S209 went to whitesand MAc , and we have a good chat with one another.. we also took some photos,,, haha... is fun lor... we were talking about what JC to go after getting the O level result.. haha we have fun... real fun ... the picture on top is one of the picture we took at Mac..
After that i went to CP to get some books.. to my surprise i saw bee , hui min and jia fa... haha
bee was working ... haha.. we chat for a while... i was shocked that bee told me that 14 ppl from 4 Hum are going to TP... haha it seems like lesser and lesser ppl going JC le... haha i went home after that to catch a tv show.. yup.. so tired ... yawn.. gotta sleep early tonight ... nv sleep well the previous day...
i love you ;
10:31 PM
Friday, February 24, 2006
Today is a miserable for me... wake up 'early' in the morning... then went online chat with my friends for a while ,then went out for my lunch at hougang mall with my NPCCfriends ( some on the left picture)... Yup , long time never see them le... i think they are busy with their stuffs ba... like piano lessons , working , school and even staying at home... i am different from them ... i have nothing to do at home.. it is so bored at home... nth to do... halfway when we were walking to hougang mall , my HP rang... it was a call from Mr chang... Oh my god , it was disappointing lor.. he told me that the school has found someone to take over his place while he was going for reservice during the next two weeks.. i thought i could replace but i was wrong...then i going to be bored to death le.. With no job.. haiz.. maybe tml going with bo an that group to go find ba... haiz.. sorry for making you disappointed , actually , i got my reasons for not going to find job for the past few days.. i was waiting for Mr chang's answer.. thanks for talking to me when i am down... I really want to take tution as my part time job.. is not that i don't want other jobs... but i have my reasons for doing tution... Yup.. Hope you understand... is not my thinking weird or what...
Back to the topic... yup we have our lunck at the hougang mall foodcourt... like what i had said ,,, it has been a long time since we last met ... so we have lots of things to talk about.. chit chat for hours.. time files.. and is about 4 pm le... we all left hougang mall.. mark has to go to do his job at kovan , carol has piano lesson , chen yee going home and gina and vic were heading to Kovan... only left me alone going to CP... haiz.. i was so lonely lor.. i went to popular to see some ten yr series.. to my surprise , oh .... the ten yr series have changed ,, there is no longer answer provided for those structured and essay questions ... i got no mood to carry on shopping le.. so i went home... ARhhh.. reaching home then come online lor...
HAiz ... i think i am really a failure... i dunno what am i doing lor.. and it seems like things i do is not going right.. and many things have disappoint me, making me feel so down... i really want to get a job , partly cos i don't want to take money from my parent.. i don't want my family to face financial problems... yup.. well , i just pray hard that things will goes well so that i don't get so troubled... ppl who read this , remember don't end up like me , life should be full of happiness... rather than ending up like me, troubling by stufs that my hair are turning all white soon... well , i wish all the best in what ever you do.. Jia you...
Wanna to remind you to be more careful wor.. yup.. of course i will be at least also a bit worry ma.. but should learn to protect yourselves when i am not there ok? I don't want you to keep anything from me... just tell me ok ? Anything just give me a call... Take care..
i love you ;
4:52 PM
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Yawn.. just wake up not long ago.. but still feeling tired.. haiz.. i have been staying at home for quite a few days le.. feeling very sian le lor.. Ever since i withdraw from MJ , i have been slacking at home... every day went online chatting and playing games.. and i think i have better things to do other than that.. i wanted to find a job but it seems that this job is not easy to get it.. it requires time and effort in order to obtain..Well, I do hope that i won't spend the remaining time wastefully..
Haha.. i think i am a crazy football fan... i watched a football match at Kallang stadium yesterday night ... it was Singapore against Iraq.. at first we thought that Iraq was going to win as they are ranked 55 place above Singapore... but yesterday match stunned everyone , Singapore defeated Iraq by two goals to nil... what a wonderful performance by the Lions... haha.. well done Singapore... we gotta fight through the Asian qualifying round... and our World Cup 2010...
That is not the end of soccer.. when i reached home , i stay up to 3.35am just to catch the Champions League ... chelsea vs Barcelona... the match was excited... but chelsea was defeated eventually as they were one man down .. all thanks to the referre .. giving del horno a red card ... i think he does not deserve it ... he should get a yellow card instead...that was why chelsea lost the match so easliy .. playing with just ten men.. Nvm , the 2nd leg , chelsea is going to "win like champion , fight like champion" EPL number one not going to lose out so easily ...
After watching , it was already 5.40am le... i was damn tired and i went to bed directly ... sleep sleep sleep... luckily i never fall off my bed... haha
i love you ;
1:48 PM
